I wish I could claim credit for the following discourse; and perhaps I can! If I didn't write it, I should have as I am beginning to resemble the symptoms. Anyway, I have to thank my brother, Jim, for sending it (back) to me; at least that's how I remember it happening. ;-)
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye—they need to be watered. I set the Pepsi down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye—they need to be watered. I set the Pepsi down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
- the driveway is flooded
- the car isn't washed,
- the bills aren't paid,
- there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter,
- there is still only one cheque in my cheque book,
- I can't find the remote,
- I can't find my glasses,
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Don't laugh—if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
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